"UVa students, a robot, and a kid's bowling set. What are they in common? I'm Lonny Quinn and what the hell am I talking about?"
-- Lonny Quinn (Channel 29 News guy) - CS 340 Robot Games - 2001-05-02

"I must give up Japanese."
-- Mako Koyama (Instructor) - JAPN 102: Elementary Japanese II - 2001-04-24

"You have no idea how many times I have to go to Toys R Us for my job."
-- Mike Bayne - CS 340 TA Meeting - 2001-04-23

"I have little plastic kids."
-- John Knight (Professor) - CS 340 TA Meeting - 2001-04-23

On the blackboard: "Be a student advisor"
"Can I erase this?"
New text on blackboard: "Be a student"
-- Sang Son (Professor) - CS 414: Operating Systems - 2001-04-23

"You're making chocolate hamburgers?"
-- Katie Partridge - 2001-04-21

"Then you get shot."
-- Mako Koyama (Instructor) - JAPN 102: Elementary Japanese II - 2001-04-19

"I will let you punch me in the face five times if you make it a group test."
-- Dante Guanlao - CS 414: Operating Systems - 2001-04-18

"I hope you take notes. Maybe not. Maybe in another life."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-04-17

"We learned a lot about TCP. Much more than the average mortal."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-04-17

"Then we have an exam and then you have to work for the next 45 years."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-04-17

"I have bad polygonal simplification karma."
-- David Dobbs - 2001-04-14

"Does it bother you that you're in a major that bores the shit out of you?"
-- Ted Haggis - 2001-04-11

"It's quite possibly, not completely wrong."
-- Phil Varner - CS 494 Lecture - 2001-04-10

"Talking about applehood and motherpie...that's backwards."
-- Tom Horton (Professor) - CS 494: Object Oriented Analysis and Design - 2001-04-10

"I advocate the overthrow of the government. I don't know if it should be violent."
-- Phil Varner - 2001-04-10

"We have to make sure that they do justice to his sexy-thanginess."
-- Brandy May - 2001-04-07

"Dude, get out of my battery box."
-- Aimee Li - 2001-04-07

"Hi, my name is Tom and I want to observe you."
-- Tom Horton (Professor) - CS 494: Object Oriented Analysis and Design - 2001-04-05

"This is all very interesting. I'm just saying that to get you interested."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-04-05

"These typos are very persistent."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-04-05

"You know, I was a student myself."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-04-05

"I talk with wrong words."
-- Phil Varner - CS 551 Lecture - 200-04-05

"What does 'is' mean?"
-- Tom Horton (Professor) - CS 494: Object Oriented Analysis and Design - 2001-04-03

"It's like a protocol on drugs."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-04-03

"It's amazing TCP even works at all."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-04-03

"It's OK Mr. Bear. It'll be all right."
-- Scott Talbert - CS 340 Laboratory - 2001-04-02

"Great! And he still has his rear end!"
-- John Knight (Professor) - CS 340 Laboratory - 2001-04-02

"Coupling and cohesion go hand in hand. That sounds really corny, doesn't it?"
-- Tom Horton (Professor) - CS 494: Object Oriented Analysis and Design - 2001-03-29

"It's like that 'I am my own grandparent' problem."
-- Tom Horton (Professor) - CS 494: Object Oriented Analysis and Design - 2001-03-29

"Let's see how cheap he is."
-- Mako Koyama (Instructor) - JAPN 102: Elementary Japanese II - 2001-03-29

"Oh, they finally found a use for that book."
-- Raj Mitra - CS 340 Laboratory (referring to CS 101 Laboratory Manual) - 2001-03-28

"Be careful or I'll have to call in the bikini'd avenger."
-- Greg Lewis - 2001-03-28

"Somebody has to be killed and that is not a very pleasant situation."
-- Sang Son (Professor) - CS 414: Operating Systems - 2001-03-26

"If you lie, you die."
-- Sang Son (Professor) - CS 414: Operating Systems - 2001-03-26

"Beating them to a pulp might not be good because they might die."
-- John Knight (Professor) - CS 340 TA Meeting - 2001-03-26

"I was going to say vaguely clear..."
-- Tom Horton (Professor) - CS 494: Object Oriented Analysis and Design - 2001-03-22

"To be fair, everyone should suffer the same amount."
-- Sang Son (Professor) - CS 414: Operating Systems - 2001-03-21

"Because of guilt and other things I have to teach you something."
-- Tom Horton (Professor) - CS 494: Object Oriented Analysis and Design - 2001-03-20

"Well, most of your colleagues are idiots."
-- Phil Varner - CS 494 Lecture - 2001-03-20

"MFC's got that F word in it."
-- Tom Horton (Professor) - CS 494: Object Oriented Analysis and Design - 2001-03-20

"I get myself all worked up. It's all very pretty."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-03-20

"Oh, and you do need a bathroom."
-- Bill Haubert - OS meeting - 2001-02-25

"There's always another layer of reality."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-02-22

"I can make that arbitrarily philosophical."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-02-20

"The exam is comprehensive. Everything that's not covered in class is covered in the exam."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-02-20

"This is semaphore time...not showtime."
-- Sang Son (Professor) - CS 414: Operating Systems - 2001-02-19

"Friends can touch each other's private parts."
-- Tom Horton (Professor) - CS 494: Object-Oriented Analysis and Design - 2001-02-15

"Ok, let's get confused."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-02-15

"Mutex is not a new kind of Kleenex."
-- Sang Son (Professor) - CS 414: Operating Systems - 2001-02-14

"Most of us have just two biological parents."
-- Tom Horton (Professor) - CS 494: Object-Oriented Analysis and Design - 2001-02-08

"It's not considered hacking if you bring your own machine down."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-02-08

"The magic is broken."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-02-08

"These are rock formations that happen to be rather flat."
-- John Knight (Professor) - CS 340: Advanced Software Development Methods - 2001-01-31

"I don't understand what these computer things are about."
-- John Knight (Professor) - CS 340: Advanced Software Development Methods - 2001-01-31

"Because I'm stupid and I don't know anything about these robot things or computer science for that matter."
-- John Knight (Professor) - CS 340: Advanced Software Development Methods - 2001-01-31

"There's something a little fishy here, but you need to know where the fish is hidden."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-01-30

"I'm not saying Ph.D.s are very useful people."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-01-25

"Reality is complicated."
-- Jörg Liebeherr (Professor) - CS 551: Internet Engineering - 2001-01-23

"Did you get my 'I'm a flaming dumbass' email?"
-- L. Cave McCoy - byxnet #danakate - 2001-01-21

"You have learned twenty-five languages so far."
-- Mako Koyama (Instructor) - JAPN 101: Elementary Japanese I - 2000-12-04

"I should be fired."
-- Mako Koyama (Instructor) - JAPN 101: Elementary Japanese I - 2000-11-09

"I rave; sometimes I hallucinate. That's what Diet Coke does to you."
-- John Knight (Professor) - CS 340: Advanced Software Development Methods - Spring 2000

"Hello, my name is John Knight, and I am totally incompetent. I can't do anything right."
-- John Knight (Professor) - CS 340: Advanced Software Development Methods - Spring 2000